Evolution: by South Park elementary teacher, Mrs. Garrison (season 10 episode 12) http://www.southparkzone.com/episode.php?vid=1012


"In the beginning we were all fish, okay? Swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different so it got to live. So retard fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with it's..........mutant fish hands.

And it had butt sex with a squirrel or something....and made this....retard frog squirrel.

And then that had a retard baby which was a..... monkey fish frog. And then this monkey fish frog had butt sex with that monkey, and that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey.And that made you.

So there ya go. You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish frog. Congratulations."

mission accomplished....little white pimple (code name "white head") destroyed

So, it's the end of yet another "i sat on my ass all week" spring break 2007. Actually I worked, which is still basically sitting on your ass. I've been sitting here for so long that it's gotten to the point where I can't seem to find any comfortable position on this chair. So every five minutes insert me switching positions, like a dog turning into circles before it sits down, to the point where I've turned the chair around and I'm leaning forward all while looking like a complete retard.

I watched the Sandlot last night, and low and behold every patron that's walked in the fine arts library today is under the age of 13. There must be a hidden baseball field underneath this wing. If only I could go back to the 50's, even the 30's, basically any time where they wore suspenders and vests. I mean it's coming back now, but you have to admit, everything back then looked so much better. Shirts seemed to be made out of a material that appeared like 5 inches thick and always in that awesome dirty beige burnt sienna look. And here's where I stop acting so vain....readyyyyy GO!

So what did I do this entire week.....I don't know. After learning "you are a runner" on drums, the entire week seemed to slip through my fingers. I must say though that the most creative drumming I've heard in a long time comes from Frog Eyes. It's almost too creative that you don't even know it's there.

Another reason that I'm going to start watching the Gilmore Girls........"Squints". That's right Chauncy Leopardi from the Sandlot, "also known as Squints" (AKA THE KID WHO KISSED Wendy the lifeguard) a kid with awesome glasses, but most of all.......my hero.....yeah about that scene......to the editing staff of The Sandlot, you might want to re-visit the scene where she's bending down to give Squints CPR......cause that birthmark is totally exposed on her right bosom. I mean......i'm juss sayin'.....it's not like I rewinded at 1.5x speed or anything jeeeeeez.

lunch time.

"If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials."

today is a rough day.



Allah's Apostle said, "The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant; from whatever direction the wind comes, it bends it, but when the wind becomes quiet, it becomes straight again. Similarly, a believer is afflicted with calamities (but he remains patient till Allah removes his difficulties.) And an impious person is like a pine tree which keeps hard and straight till Allah cuts (breaks) it down when He wishes." (See Hadith No. 558, Vol. 9.)