i'd paint your room for a bite to eat.

So I am back in Ann Arbor. Every time I come home I always find myself sprawled across my bed writing yet another blogspot. It's been a while though. The past month and a half, has been quite the experience.

I got home and what was the first thing this fat kid noticed. 10 unopened jars of marshmallow creme sitting next to 4 jars of cake icing sitting next to 3 cans of condensed milk.

Instant stomach ache I'd have to say.....but one hell of a time I'm sure of that.
I made a...............wait.............fat kid is about to talk about his lunch right now with full confidence.................(I'm so lame)...........so as I was saying,

I made the ultimate grilled cheese today. The kind that becomes obnoxious when trying to flip in the pan. Usually you can get away with just flipping the sandwich in the air, but when you need a spatula, you know you've gone overboard with your variety of cheese selections. I'd have to say I included........4 different kinds of cheese. Mozzarella, Colby, Parmesan, and last but not least, Swiss.....two slices of Swiss. All topped off with a juice box.

It was so good that I have a stomach ache right now, but the kind that makes you say to yourself....."If I ate some ice cream right now, I bet that would cool down this stomach ache". Which is then followed by passing out on the couch watching cartoon network....even the horrible cartoons on the program you know you hate. I actually sat through an entire episode of "Class Of 3000"........horrible.

But when you've got a belly full of grilled cheese anything goes right?

So, I've talked about food to the point of getting hungry again, even after my bitching and moaning about this stomach ache.

So ugh....I had a solo exhibition practicum in Chicago the other day. Did anyone hear about that?
that's what I thought.....the best parts about life are the moments when you know you're alone in the world doing something great and only a handful of your closest friends are there with you to share every moment of it.

This past weekend was a glimpse of freedom, getting out of Lansing, packing up all the paintings from Kresge that I slaved over for the last 4 months, and at 7 in the a.m, doing this by myself in the middle of the hallway while everyone goes in and out of their finals, knowing that in just a few hours I would be traveling with my own art while everyone and everything continues in a place I spend more than 15 hours a day at.

How come teachers don't push students to get shows. How come they make the art world seem so fucking scary, and why do they always tell you, "you don't seem to have confidence in your work". I'm done with all of that. I know what I am capable of and I'm finally glad that people have acknowledged that to me during the opening of my show.

People are going to hate me. I love how when Kimberly (the gallery owner) asked me, "why the hell is art so decorative these days. Do you know how many artists we get sending in slides of patterns and kitchy shit? What the hell is happening to art." Instantly I thought of a girl in our class who makes grease guard paintings of patterns week after week. This is why I know people will hate me even more next semester. I told Kimberly about how people made fun of me because I used a brush attached to a stick. She said "They make fun of you because they know you're onto something....they know you've figured something out...and they know you've gone off into your own world without anyone holding your hand." I'm not great, and I know this sounds cocky as hell, but everyone in Kresge can go roll dice. They all already think I do too much work....just wait until I do more.

I want everything to work out, and it humbles my heart knowing that I've been given the strength to go through with the things I used to only dream about.

When the life around you stops and you're able to continue moving with the most important things in life by your side, that's when it's good. In time everything that was meant to be, ends up finding the exact same paths that eventually lead to each other.