Ohh man......Oh holy batman....ohhh my

What's that you say?


I don't think I really heard....Ohhh you mean


Yeah I know....you mean....I can't be in your club?


You're a little overexposed Robin, Batman.....you're...well....


my greatest hero.

Nice penciled in eye brows dude. So......here marks my batman revelation.....it's almost as if a herd of bats swooped in and just flew around me for days and days, but really that's all in my mind because I saw it last night during my priiiiiiiiiiiivate screening of.........."Batman: Forever."

not that I don't wish that a million bats would engulf me and i'd be able to fight crime and hold hands with the lady in red.

I don't really like bats though, because one of them....and when I say "one of them", I'm refering to the 100,000 flying rats that I imagined in my head, while just one, swooped down and smacked my head when I was taking out the garbage in highschool. Annnnnd this one time...................... I woke up and attached to my screen was, a little baby bat, but when I hit the screen he flung out his wings, and I screamed..."aaahHHHhhHHHHhhahhahhhHH", which the pitch is located 32 cents above a high C.....but that's right.......I screamed in 12th grade....at a bat......on my window.....C'mon it was dark out...I thought it was the antichrist trying to steal you Michelangelo......which, I know I'm sorry I left you at home....I should have brought you to college....you might have slapped some sense into me a couple of time.

I guess I'm more of a dolphin kind of man.....how come they can't make a superhero that scares people by just walking around with a dolphin suit on. Better yet, why not make a super hero that's somehow fell in love with a "Mermey the Blue Whale out by the bay" and ever since has been tragically mutating into a Blue Whale......those things are frickin' HUGE!!!!!!! Just imagine the shadow a blue whale could produce in some dark alley while lookin' for crime.

"egh who is there!!!!!" say's the robber with perfect grammatical English.
"AHHhhhhhh GAHhhhHHHhthththththththlllllllthththththththlllllllllllllllththththhththt
llllllllllllllllllSHSHSHSHAHSHAHSAHSSHA SHA SHA SHA Sha sha sha". That of course........................ is what a blue whale sounds like if he or she ever fought crime in alleyways

I mean just check this out dude....BAM, no one could out belly flop this thing in any belly flopping competition i've been to....hold on....try looking up "blue whale" on Yahoo. All you get are ass shots.....you know what....fuggin' yahoo is perverted so I'll just use my artistic talents and draw a picture for ya' all to gaze at.

You know, this will eventually turn into a little story about how I'm a dork and dorked over action figures and comics all up until a senior in highschool, then BACK AT YA! a senior in college....then BACK AT YA! a senior in old age. I better have my ninja turtle bed sheets when I'm old. I bet they'll be covered in Fig Newton crumbs, alnd I'll wake up in the morning, thinking all my loved ones poured the sacred Entemenn's Raspberry Coffee Cake that I eat in the morning all over me as a joke.

I tried to find a batman action figure in the comic store today....they did not have any.......sigh......so I bought two, THAT's TWO, which equals 2 weeks of comic book nightlife in my room alone......................will someone take me to KB Toys? (killer batman toys....sha sha sha sha).
i'll finish this later.

and so i'm back later to finish this. hmmmm my stories arn't nearly as sophisticated as my Dad's. He played with bazookas and air plane guns in real life.......I played with Wolverines titanium alloy claws.....for fun.

I make myself out to be this little angelic 22 year old.......but I'm a dude........who actually walked over to the T-shirt section in the comic book store while the clerk was ringing me up. I know...you're asking if they had any BatMAN?............. tee shirts?......................double sigh.........they did not.

So I talked to Captin Comics over at the Underworld comic store for about an hour. I asked him for his personal opinions.....and we chated about comics used to be a lot better back in the day......ohh that's right because we were 5......he was kinda bad at keeping eye contact though, but then again I shouldn't be like my Dad, who will stare at you while you're talking without blinking AND slightly holding his head up and at angle, which will then be executed into a nod of affirmation even though he wasn't actually listening to you for the past 5 minutes. And if you're a girl, he'll stare at you for a long time......then he'll stair at me for a long time.....then he'll pause......which I know in his mind he's saying "hmmmmmmmmm.......I wonder if she can tell I'm not listening.....ohhh look Anthony's staring at me.......I wonder if he can tell i've been staring at him for the past 5 minutes....oh shit he can!!!!". At this point I'm laughing out loud and no one knows why. The fuggin' stare.

Even though this has embarrassed me many times, I love it because it's weird as hell........and speaking of weird.........when I was 10 I bought a series of X-Men action figures.....I mean all the figures that were cool of course....and the next week, at BLOCKBUSTER I might add, I saw the same series of glorious x-men action figures WITH punching arms and light up chests, that I had just bought at Toy's R Us, but in DIFFERENT COLORS! Sooooooo me being all paranoid about the other "action figure collector who is ALSO 10" I insited that my mom take me back home so I could get my money, and drive me back ASAP to Blockbuster because these action figures were obviously ALL ULTRA RARE COLLECTORS EDITIONS meant for me.................. each priced at $5.95.

So i bought them, and hung them up on my wall right next to the other set of 5 x-men figures........yup.....hung proudly on the wall above my bed. kind of like dream catchers but with automatic punching arms.

well.................a month later I was reading....that's right....READING....the monthly price guide for comics and it turns out that there was a "philosophical-scientist-and doctor" proven article that said these different colored x-men action figures were a mishap in productions and were worth nothing.................................................................................this soon began my downfall with collecting action figures........

So you're probably asking yourself right now in your basement..................hehe......"Anthony, what on earth did you do after you read about this scientifically proven evidence, that soon after liquidated all of your possible hopes of ever having an income without working your entire life"

well.......................

.......since I hung out with kids around my block that were younger than me....I went over to Guga's house (this Brazilian kid I used to know) and handed him all 5 action figures......while using the phrase "I don't even want these........I don't....I just......I just don't even know what these do...........what are these?.....I don't even know cause......I don't even need em!'" Of course Dane Cook was hanging out with me and usually did all my talking for me at that age.

man........i'm tired..talking to yourself for hours really gets you pooped. have a goodnight kid.