Aqua Ranger Ralph says "Make sure you ignore any other marine life that don't resemble Elvis Costello"

Hello, my name is Aqua Ranger Ralph. I live underwater and only surfaces to the sound of ice cream cruisers passing by. Our underwater society consists of mer-men and mer-women, except for my co-worker LaOceana, who has the ability to change into a mermaid or a full grown woman. Full grown meaning she's almost 15 ft. tall. why is this necessary? let me tell you.

have you ever heard of the killer king crab slah robots "hello I don't need to walk because I have hoover jets attached to my torso"? Well, they're about 8 ft. tall, i'm 5'11'' (hopefully I got the ' and the '' in the right places.) Underwater schooling is pretty lame. Try writing on mushy paper with exploding ink pens. So my lady friend........LAOceana...... the 15ft. tall pretty little lady, stands by my side during times of adventures, excursions, trips, luncheons....what have you's.... and when we do in fact run into a group of these killer king crab slah robots, "hello I don't need to walk because I have hoover jets attached to my torso" she'll just scoops em' up, bop em' over the head and eat em'. Hence why she's almost 15 ft. tall.

Here's a picture of me in training. I don't usually go to the surface but once you hear the sounds of the ice cream cruisers one is bound to jump out of the water like Echo the dolphin.

Yeah you can't really see my face cause I'm eating 5 krisy kelp yum yum's at the same time. So usually I find myself getting into scruffs with schools of fish. there's something about the "right of way" that I don't fully understand in underwater life. I've tried to bring street signs and stop lights underwater but that just ended with 12 electrocuted sting ray and 54 baby guppies all shocked to death. They've recently put on a ban on anything I suggest for the underwater community.

It seems that as an Aqua Ranger i don't really fit in everywhere. Here's me the day after graduation from the School of Underwater Excellence.

Yeah, don't mind the two piece, something about the school running out of men's bathingsuits and the marina shops being closed to humans all day for ever......THE TOP MATCHES THE CORAL THOUGH!!!!! RIGHT????